By Father Shenan J. Boquet
Four years ago, Pope Francis announced the first-ever “World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly.”
The decision to celebrate this day annually comes as many parts of the world face a rapidly aging population. According to the WHO, it is expected that by 2030, one in six people will be over 60 years old. However, by 2050 that number is expected to double, with approximately 2.1 billion people over the age of 60.
Numerous economists, sociologists, and religious leaders have warned that this massive shift in demographic trends is likely to bring all manner of significant consequences. Already (as I have written about often in the past), we are seeing an increasing number of nations legalizing euthanasia and assisted suicide. In some cases, euthanasia and assisted suicide are being overtly presented as “solutions” to an aging population.
In the midst of this seismic shift in demography, it is critical that the Church play a role in guiding how best to respond in a way that upholds and protects the dignity of the elderly. The Holy Father’s decision to initiate a “World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly” is thus a prescient decision, and one that will likely only become more and more important with every passing year.
“Do Not Cast Me off in My Old Age”
This year, the “World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly” was celebrated on Sunday, July 28 (i.e., yesterday). The theme for this year’s celebration comes from Psalm 71, verse 9. “Do not cast me off in my old age,” reads that verse of the Psalm, “do not forsake me when my strength is gone.”
As the Vatican explains in a press release announcing the event, this year’s theme was intended to “call attention to the fact that, sadly, loneliness is the bitter lot in life of many elderly persons, so often the victims of the throw-away culture.”
To mark the fourth “World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly,” Pope Francis released a letter meditating upon the value of the elderly. “God never abandons his children, never,” he writes in the introduction to that letter.
Even when our age advances and our powers decline, when our hair grows white and our role in society lessens, when our lives become less productive and can risk appearing useless. God does not regard appearances (cf. 1 Sam 16:7); he does not disdain to choose those who, to many people, may seem irrelevant. God discards no stone; indeed, the “oldest” are the firm foundation on which “new” stones can rest, in order to join in erecting a spiritual edifice (cf. 1 Pt 2:5).
Unfortunately, humans do not always operate in conformity with the Divine mind. God values the elderly for their intrinsic dignity. Despite this, and not to mention their hard-earned wisdom, too often modern society casts them aside once they have ceased to be “useful.” The result is an epidemic of loneliness among the elderly.
“Often, when I was Bishop of Buenos Aires, I would visit rest homes and realize how rarely those people received visits,” laments the Holy Father in his letter. “Some had not seen their family members for many months.”
A Conspiracy Surrounding the Elderly
Sometimes, notes the Holy Father, the abandonment of the elderly is a consequence of factors that are not necessarily under people’s control.
In conflict zones, for example, it is often only the elderly that remain behind, as they lack the strength or resources to relocate. Similarly, in highly impoverished societies, it is often necessary for the young to emigrate to find work, resulting in the elderly being left behind without family to care for them. These are tragic situations for which political leaders must seek to find solutions.
Too often, however, the abandonment of the elderly is a consequence of what the Holy Father terms a “conspiracy,” fueled by the perverse idea that somehow the elderly “rob the young of their future.”
For example, he notes, “there is now a widespread conviction that the elderly are burdening the young with the high cost of the social services that they require, and in this way are diverting resources from the development of the community and thus from the young.”
While the idea that there is a “conspiracy” against the elderly may seem like an “exaggeration,” writes the Holy Father, we can see that this is not the case if we recognize “that the loneliness and abandonment of the elderly is not by chance or inevitable, but the fruit of decisions – political, economic, social and personal decisions – that fail to acknowledge the infinite dignity of each person.”
“This happens,” he adds, “once we lose sight of the value of each individual and people are then judged in terms of their cost, which is in some cases considered too high to pay. Even worse, often the elderly themselves fall victim to this mindset; they are made to consider themselves a burden and to feel that they should be the first to step aside.”
We, Too, Shall Face Old Age
The Holy Father makes an important point when he notes that, underlying much of the loneliness of the elderly, is our society’s movement towards a hyper-individualistic understanding of the self. This, in turn, has had the unfortunate effect of undermining the family, which frequently serves as the greatest protection for the vulnerable.
Often, the elderly themselves bought into this idea. When they were young, notes the Holy Father, they may have thought of themselves more in terms of “me” rather than “us,” as isolated individuals, rather than as part of a rich network of social relationships. As a consequence, perhaps, they invested little in their family, or didn’t even bother starting a family to begin with, focusing instead on individual pursuits.
A rude awakening comes when they find themselves aging, and too often, alone. “[O]nce we grow old, and our powers begin to decline, the illusion of individualism, that we need no one and can live without social bonds, is revealed for what it is,” Pope Francis writes in a heartbreaking passage.
“Indeed, we find ourselves needing everything, but at a point in life when we are alone, no longer with others to help, with no one whom we can count on. It is a grim discovery that many people make only when it is too late.”
The Story of Ruth Shows the Way
Pope Francis notes that one of the most tragic outcomes of a culture that devalues the elderly is that even the elderly themselves come to think of themselves as a burden and will even suggest that they should be abandoned by their loved ones.
It is precisely this drama that we see unfold in the story of Ruth, from the book of the same name in the Bible.
Naomi is the mother-in-law of two young women, Ruth and Orpah. She is also a widow. As Pope Francis explains in a beautiful meditation on this passage, “As a widow, she knows that she is of little value in the eyes of society; she sees herself as a burden for those two young women who, unlike herself, have their whole lives before them.”
And so, Naomi encourages her daughters-in-law to leave her, even though she is very much afraid of being alone. While Orpah does indeed leave Naomi, Ruth refuses, instead insisting that Naomi remain with her.
“Ruth’s freedom and courage invite us to take a new path,” writes the Holy Father.
Let us follow in her footsteps. Let us set out with this young foreign woman and the elderly Naomi, and not be afraid to change our habits and imagine a different kind of future for our elderly. May we express our gratitude to all those people who, often at great sacrifice, follow in practice the example of Ruth, as they care for an older person or simply demonstrate daily closeness to relatives or acquaintances who no longer have anyone else.
As those who are familiar with the story of Ruth know, Ruth’s decision to stand by her aging mother-in-law turns out not only to be the right thing to do, but it also enriches her life in ways that she does not foresee. When Boaz, a young man who is a wealthy landowner, learns of Ruth’s virtuous decision, it endears her to him. In the end, he takes Ruth as his wife.
“This is always the case,” muses Pope Francis, “by remaining close to the elderly and acknowledging their unique role in the family, in society and in the Church, we will ourselves receive many gifts, many graces, many blessings!”
Be Ruths in Your Communities
In a world dominated by what Pope Francis has called a “throwaway culture,” in which persons are thrown aside the minute they are deemed “useless,” the story of Ruth shows us the path forward.
In the face of large-scale social problems, such as a rapidly aging global population, it is tempting to immediately begin looking for large-scale social solutions. While there is room for creative legislators and social reformers to devise new, systemic solutions to the problems we face, we must not allow this to distract us from the impact that each of us can have, today, in alleviating the loneliness and suffering of those in the final chapter of their life.
Too often, we allow the busyness of our daily lives to withdraw our hearts and minds from those relatives, friends, or others who would love to hear from us, or to experience the pleasure of our presence. The “World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly” is a timely reminder to do something as simple as pick up the phone and check in with our elderly relatives or friends.
In addition, most of us live close to retirement homes or homes for the elderly. Many of these function as charities for people who lack family or others to care for them. Many of them need volunteers to come and help, sometimes simply by sitting with those in need of company.
Ultimately, a society is only as strong as the bonds that unite people to one another. In the past, it was common for the elderly to spend the final years of their lives in the homes of one of their children, where they would be surrounded by the liveliness and joy of their grandchildren. As the family has disintegrated, and as our lives have become busier and busier, this situation has become rarer and rarer.
It is up to us to rebuild those social bonds, by making concrete choices that prioritize the dignity of persons over every other consideration.
As the Holy Father exhorts in the conclusion of his letter on this fourth annual “World Day of Grandparents and the Elderly”:
This article has been reprinted with permission and can be found at hli.org/2024/07/the-erasure-of-the-elderly-its-consequences.[L]et us show our tender love for the grandparents and the elderly members of our families. Let us spend time with those who are disheartened and no longer hope in the possibility of a different future. In place of the self-centred attitude that leads to loneliness and abandonment, let us instead show the open heart and the joyful face of men and women who have the courage to say, “I will not abandon you,” and to set out on a different path.